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Top 10 reasons GTA IV sucks

By Damian Francis, 5/9/2008 1:41:36 PM

Top marks, 99 percent, ten out of ten. We’re tired of reading all these rave reviews about GTA IV. Sure it’s good, but no game is perfect – and here’s the proof.



We rounded up some of the best gaming journalists from Gameplayer.com.au, Australian 360 magazine and Official PlayStation Magazine and asked them the big question: what sucks about GTA IV?

 

Here are the results: the Top 10 reasons why GTA IV sucks – or at least why it gets docked at least that one per cent.

 

1. It’s got more bugs than The Temple of Doom
Entire rooms will pop in before your eyes and actual geometry, such as trees and staircases keeps popping in as well. We’re on the fast track to a migraine.

 

2. The environments all look the same
This is meant to be an entire city, based on New York, but aside from Algonquin, Liberty City may as well be just the same block repeated over and over. We’ve seen more architectural variety in one of those new towns that spring up overnight in the outer suburbs.

 

3. Weird install options
It’s a mandatory install for the PlayStation 3, yet when it comes to the Xbox 360 there’s no install option at all. What’s with that, Rockstar?

 

4. Repetitive missions
Are we the only ones with a feeling of déjà vu? We swear we’ve played most of these missions before in GTA III, GTA II, GTA . . .

 

5. The lighting doesn’t exactly shine
Shadows aren’t done properly and the lighting pops in and out more often than your mother in law – and is just as unwelcome.

 

6. Driving drives us crazy
The physics have improved enough to make a lap around Liberty City enjoyable, but everyone steers like your Grandma on Red Bull. The camera sucks too, and has moments of complete madness when it feels like you’re reverse parking a Camry into a motorbike space on acid.

 

7. Faces are a farce
Some of the characters look fantastic and really show GTA IV as a next-gen game. Others look like they’ve hopped straight off the bus from San Andreas. Maybe its supposed to delineate Liberty City's surgically enhanced Manhatten types from its beaten down Bronxers. Bronxites. Bronxians?

 

8. The AI can be less than intelligent
We witnessed a cop car doing a three point turn drive off a bridge into a river, while another drove off the road, down a beach and straight into the water. Yet one managed to drive his car on two wheels through an impossibly thin alley and exit intact to continue the chase.

 

9. No local multiplayer
San Andreas allowed two people to play on one screen. So taking that away is progress?

 

10. Sean Connery’s not in it
OK, if we’re honest we only found nine things that truly suck, but tell us his Scots brogue wouldn’t have added a little extra panache?

 

More GTA IV news:

GTA IV virus spreading

GTA IV sales war begins

Top 5 GTA IV cheats

Full GTA IV review


 

What do you think sucks about GTA IV? Tell us in the forums.






Comments
Lewis
I find it difficult to not agree.
5/9/2008 1:52:33 PM

samir
if you look at something for long enough you will always find mistakes! why waste your time on such an article?!
5/9/2008 7:28:59 PM

chris
Top 10 reasons gadget zone sucks 1.This site sucks.
5/9/2008 7:40:54 PM

Sjoeter
Go and play saints row cause you sound you might enjoy that ;) i know GTA IV is not perfect but personally its the best game ever made! i don't even pay attention to the popping in of things, that's a part of GTA since it's in 3d
5/9/2008 7:45:19 PM

Meow
YEEEEEEEEEES!! ATLAST ! SOME ONE WHO IS AGAINST THE HYPE ! "ooh he has to be a nintendo fan boi !"
5/9/2008 7:46:35 PM

Sjoeter
samir and chris, this is just a way to get more people on this site... bad publicity is still publicity! never heard of this site and never gona be on it ever again if im honest ^^
5/9/2008 7:46:56 PM

Sjoeter
Meow, im an bigass nintendo fanboy (even got the logo as an tattoo) but im a big gta hyper ^^ so?
5/9/2008 7:47:57 PM

Andrew
Top 10 reasons gadget zone sucks 2.Writes articles that go against the mainstream just to be noticed.
5/9/2008 8:07:41 PM

Miguel
Top 10 reasons gadget zone sucks 3. It just wasted 5 minutes of my life.
5/9/2008 9:20:29 PM

niko belic
This guy hasn't even played the game yet. The "environments all look the same". Are you serious? Drive through the districts and you'll see that the architecture is unique for each and everyone of them! Lame
5/9/2008 9:34:25 PM

Damian Francis
Honestly, I think the game is a great, great game, both PS3 and Xbox 360 versions. Just a shame we don't get the uncensored version in AUS. However, there has to be some bad elements of any game, and it's more interesting to delve into those elements on a game that continually scores 99%. What about that other 1%? Why did it not sore 100%? I reckon we've come across a few legitimate ones that could answer that question. If that makes me a Nintendo fan well, I'm off to play Super Paper Mario! ;)
5/9/2008 9:50:46 PM

M.
Gta has no attributes to enhance ur charicter and no good cloths russians dont only shop at russian stores and is that the onlyu store in new york damnit
5/9/2008 10:13:46 PM

God
I approached this article with the notion that it would be an intelligent analysis. Wow, all I can say is that this article looks like it was written by a 13 year old. #2 is a display of pure ignorance of someone who has never been to New York. #3 is a display of zero console-mechanics understanding from the reviewer. #1 made me laugh because the reviewer doesn't know what rendering is. So much for a "professional" article
5/9/2008 10:18:43 PM

Damian Francis
Lived in NYC for a few months two years ago, great city. Did you like it... oh, hold on, you're God, silly question :) You've caught me on the age estimate though.
5/9/2008 10:28:45 PM

EricT
You missed the #1 thing that sucks about GTA: camera controls suck. The camera is *constantly* trying to orient itself behind the player, and if you wish to be looking off to the side while walking down a street, you have to fight it. You should be able to turn this off, so that it can be played like any other good third-person shooter (like GOW). Having to fight the camera is an immersion robber. It also makes machinima more difficult to film (which is a drag, because this is a kick ass engine for it). I understand the aggressively auto-centering camera is designed to make the game noob-friendly, but for those of us who grew up playing this kinda shit and are comfortable with manual camera control, it's a pain in the ass.
5/10/2008 5:00:50 AM

Mark
No planes? what's up with that?! Also ... you spend all your time completing missions to make money ... and there isnt anything to spend it on ... should have put more stores including a car dealer where you can actually buy a nice exotic car ... instead of seeing one every 2 minutes.. Oh and buying houses would of been a nice touch ... I think they took out all the stuff that made san andreas great and replaced em with amaziing graphics which apparently are enough to impress every damn game critic out there
5/10/2008 6:02:38 AM

cell
well for starters, no planes sucks, no tanks sucks, no water diving sucks, no flame thrower sucks, no katana sucks, no chain saw sucks, no car customizing, no army.
5/10/2008 7:28:13 AM

icon12
agreed. so many missing components from SA. granted, im not asking for the same game, BUT, add- dont subtract.
5/11/2008 4:07:58 PM

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